Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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