Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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