It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
