But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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