And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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