I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
