I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
