im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
