so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
