ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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