I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He felt like a one man threesome
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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