you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You can't just leave with hair like that
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sorry about my life...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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