at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
