I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found your dick twin last night
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
