Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
