11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
