A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
