Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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