the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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