Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
