I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
