Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
