She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
