so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
