i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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