His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
