i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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