I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
