Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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