I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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