Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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