dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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