If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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