What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
