Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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