The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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