I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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