its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
