You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
