if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
