God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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