I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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