Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Randomize
