I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
