Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
...so i touched it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
