Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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