He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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