You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
