booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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