I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
