he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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