I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
