Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
